I love you. And not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way. Very simple, very truly. You're the epitome of every attribute and quality I've ever looked for in another person. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't look into your eyes without feeling that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. I've never felt this before, and I like who I am because of it. There isn't another soul on this planet who's ever made me the person I am when I'm with you.

If you want it come and get it. But understand, you take me as I am.


"You know how when you're listening to music playing from another room? And you're singing along because it's a tune that you really love? When a door closes or a train passes so you can't hear the music anymore, but when you hear the music again you're still in the exact same time with it? That's what love is like."


I didn't even like that song until I heard you you sing it.


you make me laugh. even when you're not talking, it's you i'm looking at.
& when you are talking, it's me you're looking at.
you make me axcited to get texts again. i can't wait to talk to you.
you listen to my advice, even when i'm not saying anything.
you make me feel special, like i actually matter to someone again.


Don't be content with average because
average is just as close to the bottom as it is to the top.


I'm not going anywhere. This is it for me.
You're it for me and I can't pretend to feel
any less then I do. I`m sorry, I just can't.


Love isn't perfect.
It isn't a fairytale or storybook
& it doesn't always come easy.
Love is overcoming obstacles
facing challenges, fighting to be together,
saying "I love you" when you're mad,
Holding on and never letting go.

Honestly, we are beautiful, smart, funny and nice and not in the cliche way. We're a fabulous catch. Now if only THEY could see it. How is it possible that girls like us have been to hell and back, have been treated like crap our entire lives and are able to get out of bed every morning? Maybe this is just our lesson, maybe we are in for something better, maybe there's a plan..but for now, while the world seems to be falling in love and living happily ever after we are still searching for that someone that will realize how amazing we are and never let us go.

Sometimes, you've got to stop wishing and hoping that he'll come to his senses and want you back, and just move on. Honestly, it's the best gift you can give yourself. You might think you're powerless against these feelings, but you aren't. It's all in your head, and if you change your pattern of thinking, the feelings will go away. So start thinking about how fucking great you are, and what a clueless loser he is. Think about how happy you can be without him messing you around and wasting your time, and all the amazing things you can and will do with the long life you have ahead of you. A life without him, because yes, such a life does exist. It's a pretty simple concept really, and I'm sure you've heard it before: look on the bright side.



You know when you're attracted to someone, but you don't know why? You can't explain it, but you are drawn to this someone, and you feel so strongly about them even though you have no tangible reason why? That's the way it was with you. I think that's pretty amazing: I barely knew you, I didn't know any of your faults or even any of your perfections, but I wanted you. That's one of a kind. I don't know why anyone wouldn't want one of a kind, but you obviously didn't. But what do I know now? I know it's YOUR LOSS.

how many times have
my wishes
and my dreams
and my prayers
for you
hidden beneath my breath?
how many times have i looked at you,
heart in my throat,
hands in my pockets,
a smile on my face,
just wanting to say..
i hope you never lose that sense of wonder.



hope takes never ceasing to be amazed..
wearing your soul on your sleeve..
holding your breath, waiting to hear
"i love you, too"..
believing
that tomorrow could be better than today..
that you'll get a second chance..
that you'll make a difference..
that you matter.



God forbid love ever leave you empty-handed
but if it does,
may it leave you patient and stronger,
willing, and wiser, tender and tougher.


it's not the end.
it's the beginning.

You know when you know. You just do.
When you realize that this is going to hurt so bad when it's over.
But you keep going anyway. You keep falling.


I could wake up next to you every morning, for the rest of my life.


At some point, you have to stop doubting and questioning and being scared.
Stop making him pay for bad choices some other loser made.
Just give him the benefit of the doubt that maybe, this one's not going to break your heart.


You've got to stop believing the worst.
That there's another girl. Or he doesn't really like you. That this is just a game.
Believe him.

Why is it so hard for boys to show they care? It's like they're born with the natural defense mechanism. One that girls have to work years to perfect.
We just want to know that you care. Not that you're in love with us, or want to spend every waking moment with us. Just that you think of us every once in a while. And that you care.

boys like you can't see girls like me.


just to be worth it.
to be chased. wanted. pursued.
to be worth the time and effort she makes you put into having her.


these days, i'm going to make you work for it.
forget being ever available. there for your every whim.
it's your turn to not have your calls answered.
or to wait hours for text replys.
get used to it, because this is how it's going to be.


to me, it's not playing "hard to get".
it's surviving.


And ultimately, he's going to find out...how you chew, how you sip, how you hum.
How you dance, how you laugh really loud. That you have a really big personal bubble.
How sometimes you can't seem to listen. How you get hyper when you travel.
How certain movies or songs make you really happy.
How you get cranky because you're too stupid to remember to eat.
How you don't like the way you look in most of your pictures.
How you can't get off the phone when you're late because you don't want to sound like you don't care.
He's going to know all of it; everything about you. He's going to know.
And he's still going to love you.

i've never been one to be cautious or scared.
but i'll admit, i'm scared to death you're going to stop feeling the way we do.

i honestly thought i'd never feel this way again.


i'm more myself when i'm with you then when i'm alone.


people say once you've opened that door, it's hard to close.
but i have to admit, i'd be willing to make that mistake with you again.


right now, i miss your laugh. and the way you can make me laugh with just a look.
and how you don't care what anyone thinks. and the way you whisper that you think i'm perfect.


i don't need commitment, i just need to know i'm all you need.

i'm overwhelmed.
and underwhelmed, if that's a word.
i have way too much going on. and at the same time nothing at all.
other than the fact that i'm about to go off to college and basically start a whole new life.
who am i kidding?
i guess it's because that's all in the future.
right now.
right now, nothing's going on. i'm not catching anyone's eye. no one follows me with their eyes when i walk by.
i'm not amazing. i don't wow anyone. not that i ever did, but i guess it'd be nice.
i watch tv/movies too much. i get all these high expectations of the way someone should make me feel.
and the way someone should act, when realisticly, it's way too much to ask of someone.
to be perfect for me.
i dont need perfect, persay.
just perfect for me.
it's like i have 1,000 emotions, and none at all. i don't feel.
i don't care.
actually, i do care. i care that no one cares.
haha.
i kind of just want to be held. to fit "right there". you know the place.
where you fit.
i just realized the only pronoun i've used is i. selfish.
but this week, this time, i get to be.
a year. good god that's a long time. a year ago i was in the clouds.
i'd found someone who looked at me and saw me. and someone who, when i looked at him, i was scared i saw forever.
forever's a long time. eight months is a long time. and the past six months have been a long time too.
i loved him so much he wouldn't get it if i told him. so for now we pretend each other don't exsist.
sometimes i wonder what he's thinking when i walk by. or when, for a split-second, it's just me and him in the hall. i wonder if he actually notices me. if he's trying as hard as i am to pretend like he doesn't. does he see everything he once saw in me, in her now? does she mean as much as i did?
but i try not to spend my time concentrating on them. they're not real. they could never be what we were.
he was my world. my love. my everything. and he never got that.
but i do get that it's all my fault. all the heartbreak.
actually, from what i hear, i apparently broke his heart first. but what was i? his revenge. he got his revenge. oh, i hope that's not all those times were. were those kisses a cinical set up for what he knew he was doing? did he know what he was doing all along?
why am i still thinking about him every second of every day? why i am still writing about him and crying about him and loving him, damnit. why can't i just forget him. it's like he's latched on to my heart, and i won't let him let go. i won't let him. i don't want to let go. like i have unfinished business. but it's over. it's not going to ever happen again. i'm not that desperate. but he means so much more to me than anyone could understand. i get him. i get him better than anyone other than his parents could get him. sure, i can't remember his birthday, but i know that face he makes when he's really mad. and i know his laugh. and i know his kiss. and i remember his kiss like the last one was yesterday. i remember the look in his eyes, and i remember doubting it, for some reason. i remember loving him with everything in me. and thinking it would never, ever end. and then i remember ending it. i remember being scared. i remember not having a real reason.
i remember it being because of you.